*** INSOMNIA ***

Insomnia is a sleep disorder that is characterized by difficulty falling and/or staying asleep. People with insomnia have one or more of the following symptoms:

Yeah yeah yeah internet, like we really need a list of those. Seriously...

Okay so admit it... we've all be here at some point (or many many points) in our lives. And boy does it SUCK big time! right now I have a sexy, warm, yummy, sleeping boyfriend in my bed and I am sitting in the dark with my trusty laptop typing out a blog. Can we say insomnia for the... um... fail?

The really crappy part is I LOVE sleeping with my before mentioned boyfriend... but when I am laying there wide awake listening to him and the dog sleeping soundly in her bed at the bottom of ours; well I find my inability to sleep just grows and my mind opens even more tabs until I am ready to just scream!! And yes I did just liken my ever active mind to a computer. It goes back to the statement you can find all over the internet about women's mind always having 10,000 tabs or so open at all times. It's like that only worse because then I am desperately trying to close them creating anxiety. 

Ooooh, now that's a fun word. Anxiety. Then we add it to insomnia... yes yes, together those are head clunking to the table inspiring words. Especially at 2 am. It's just me... and of course the cats. They always try to help be bringing me their toys so I can play with them. After all I am awake. And there you go, the third thing that happens. SQUIRREL!! Yes, short attention spans. We'll get back to that (maybe if the train of thought doesn't derail). So where were we? Oh yes, the head clunking words... Anxiety and insomnia They, like insomnia suck.

I think they are like the big loud annoying relatives you hate to see. How you ask? They are unavoidable at some point, You wish they would go away. They invade your space. They make you feel bad. And nobody really wants to deal with them. Unfortunately, just like those relatives, they are ap part of your life at some point(s) for the rest of your life. Yippee fucking skippee. 

No wait.. no need to break out the straight razor and hot tub of water. They don't constantly stay in your face. They come and go (much like family). And there's the flip side. when they aren't there you can REALLY enjoy those nights of deep, sound sleep. The ones that you wake up from and yawn and stretch and can't help but smile a little because you are refreshed and renewed. 

Well at least on days off from work or school when you have to get up early. But I mean even on those days there's a little extra spring in your step. On your days off, those are the days you usually sleep in a little and then languidly enjoy your morning and then accomplish a few things on your "To do" list. Then are always happy to slip back in between those sheets again.

Unless of course for some irrational reason the actual act of getting in bed rouses those feelings that lead to insomnia. Yes, I am serious. No, it's not because I'm afraid of the dark or have nightmares. I think it's more of being afraid to having insomnia. What? I never said I wasn't kind of screwed up... Luckily we all are so it's okay. Really, it's OH-KAY. Besides, you know you kinda like falling down this particular rabbit hole. Well with this particular "Alice" anyways... I'm so much more muchier than she is ya know. 

Oye vey... yes I know I'm all over the place tonight. Did I mention the insomnia? Yeah it kinda works like that. I think that's why so many artists are insomniacs. We feed off the chaos our minds fall into and use it for inspiration!! Unfettered like this might be hard to follow. You have to treat it like progressive jazz, there's no real rhythm you just simply go with it. Although it's odd me saying that when I am anything but a fan of that. I'm more of a soft jazz fan. LOL!

And so with that all you hep cats and dolls... I think I will try to find some peace and sleep before my boyfriend wakes up, worries and comes looking for me (he has to get up early for work). So sweet dreams and sleep well world!